"You are worthy of being helped."
I heard that on television this morning, and it stopped me in my tracks.
This is an issue for me.
Whenever I need help with something, I feel ashamed.
Or dishonest, as if I really could manage without the help and, therefore, I am . . . not worthy of the help.
I often get defensive or even combative when someone tries to help me with something.
This has caused issues in my marriage from time to time, for marriage is a lifetime of teamwork, of giving and of receiving. Receiving with an open and free heart is very difficult for me.
I have begun to realize I feel unworthy.
Of course, various circumstances in my life have brought me to places where I have been forced to ask for help.
I do and can ask for help. . . I am certainly not saying that I do everything myself, without help from anyone.
But all the while I am receiving that help, I secretly and silently browbeat myself for it.
This adds conflict to my heart, my life. It disquiets my soul.
My husband is a generous and gracious care-taker, helper. It disturbs him that accepting help is so difficult for me.
I could spend many hours and probably many dollars analyzing how this came to be in me.
But I think my time would be better spent repeating that beautifully illuminating sentence above,
"You are worthy of being helped,"
and working to synthesize it into my heart and into my soul.
I am worthy of being helped.
And so I bring this to you, dear reader . . . do you feel worthy of being helped?